Taking care of someone with cancer is like a marathon....and of course all the focus is on your loved one's health. Don't forget your own, you need to remain strong for both yourself and your loved one.

1. Don't make immediate decisions if you don't have to. Step back and take time to think things through and talk about them.

2. Eat well. I hired a cancer nutritionist to help me review our food choices and how to improve them. I took several cooking lessons to learn how to integrate these new foods. I felt like I was learning something new, and felt good about doing something positive for the both of us. Make sure you exercise….even just going for a short walk every day will make a difference.

3. Don't get overwhelmed by paperwork! Our hospital had a nurse advocate for the patients and the family. She worked with me on all the insurance matters, and helped schedule appointments…. she was a great help.

4. Don't look too far down the road. While planning and preparation is always important, it can be scary to look too far. Life never seems to take the path we think it will, and cancer is no different.

5. Keep rested. It's hard to do, but everything really does seem worse when you are tired. And you're not helping yourself or the patient if you're tired. Become aware and protective of how you spend your time and energy.

6. Don't take things personally. There might be medications involved, or just stress and physical exhaustion on the part of the patient. It will pass, and it's more about how they're feeling than anything you're doing.

7. Laugh! Rent uplifting or funny movies, or have friends over. Much of your time will be spent at home during the treatment and recovery process….so think of ways to keep you both entertained in new and fun ways.

8. Delegate or hire someone to help out with household chores. Places to look for support:
* Friends / Family
* Hospice
* Oncology Office
* Cancer Organizations
* Social Worker

9. If you're having a tough time accepting help, revisit those who have offered a hand and consider why you're hesitant to say yes (thinking you can do it all, thinking you need to appear strong, not knowing where to even delegate). Let those hesitations go and just start with getting something off your plate.

10. Don't be around negative people or situations that put you in a negative state of mind. Turn off the news! You must avoid any additional stress….this is the perfect time to reduce / eliminate contact with any negative situations.

11. Give yourself a break, mentally, from cancer, even if it's just for a few minutes a day. Listen to a meditation tape or a book on tape while you're doing errands or cooking meals.
12. Talk to people in your situation. You'll gain strength from it. Friends and family can be a wonderful support, but talking to someone in the same situation that you are in is invaluable.

13. Keep a gratitude journal. Even just writing down one thing a day that you're grateful for will make a tremendous difference in how you view your journey. One caregiver friend of mine started her journal with the entry "I'm so grateful my husband didn't have any nausea today"! Remember, you're in a "new normal" state and gratitude can come from new places as well!

14. Make sure you exercise….even just going for a short walk every day will make a difference.

15. Plan a trip or event when you know things will be better. It's really helpful to look forward to something positive, and it's healthy for both of you to realize that the current situation will change.

If you have additional tips, please forward them to: tips@mylovedonehascancer.com